Lately I’ve noticed a little trap that people can fall into. One they set themselves up for. Like so many barriers to our own success, it comes down to a choice of words. That choice is between ‘confidence’ and ‘courage’.

Example: A client says she needs to build up the confidence to put a contentious issue on the table with her executive team. I ask her does she need confidence, or courage? What’s the difference, you might ask? Surely we’re talking semantics? Let me suggest otherwise.

What’s the difference?

Courage is what you have when you face something scary, and you do it anyway. Confidence is what you have after you’ve done it.

COURAGE VS CONFIDENCE

Courage is a leap of faith. Confidence is backed by experience.
Courage comes from wanting something badly enough that you’ll do what it takes. Confidence is knowing you can do it.
Courage shows us we’re capable of more than we thought. Confidence sustains us at that new level.
You can have courage without confidence.

It’s easier to hide behind a lack of confidence, when actually, what you’re saying is that you have a lack of courage. If you reframe it so it’s about having courage, not confidence, it’s a different game you’re playing. Courage comes from a deeper place than confidence. One you can tap without having to have been there before.

In a world where we’re daily facing new situations without a blueprint, we need more leaders with courage, not just confidence.

DEVELOPING COURAGE

When people face something big and scary, they’ll often say “I need to muster up the courage to tackle that.”

Kind of like courage is something that’s scattered around the place in small bits, and they just need to gather up all of those small bits and create a big courage ball. Then they’ll be OK, and they can lean into the big thing and do what it takes.

Kind of like courage is something you need to draw on only occasionally. Like this:

The rest of the time you just cruise. You wish. Life doesn’t work like that.

Courage as Daily Practice

What if you viewed courage as a daily practice? Like going to the gym? Where you focus on building up your courage muscles so you can be ready to use them anytime something scary comes across your radar. Like this:

Daily living offers us heaps of opportunities to be courageous:

Saying ‘no’ when you usually would say ‘yes’ (and vice-versa)
Letting go of the need to control things so tightly
Approaching the person that makes you nervous
Speaking up and speaking out
Making a decision even when you don’t have all the information
Letting someone know bad news
Challenging your story about what you believe life is all about

When these types of challenges are thrown at us, we often let them go through to the keeper. If we do take them up, they can feel like hard work, and we shake in our boots. All because we haven’t developed our courage muscles enough. Develop your courage muscles through daily practice, and when the big gnarly ones come along, you’ll be ready. The big decisions won’t feel so big anymore.

Eleanor Roosevelt said, “do one thing every day that scares you.” She was on about what I’m on about.

So, what will it be today?

About The Author:

Digby Scott is a Wellington based leadership development practitioner and coach with extensive experience across a range of industries and countries. Read more of Digby’s articles and blogs at: https://digbyscott.com/

Do you Need Confidence or Courage?